I live between the Dominican Republic and Canada and right now I am in Canada working and to be completely honest, the frigid and grey  weather is really getting to me! So, when my partner (who is in the Dominican) told me that he was going to the beach today, I broke out in tears! I wanted to go to the beach today too :) I knew my response was ridiculous and childish - so almost immediately, amidst my tears, I started to laugh and laugh. I had a real belly laugh and WOW did it feel great! Little did I know the many benefits of laughter: reduced stress, boosting of the immune system and even is a form of exercise of your internal organs! From the same article, according to German Psychologist - Michael Titze, "In the 1950's people used to laugh 18 minutes a-day; but today we laugh not more than 6 minutes per day despite the huge increase in the standard of living." AND children laugh 300 to 400 times a day, but adults do not laugh more that fifteen times a day. What?!?! So, it is obvious we need to lighten up and laugh more. If you love dogs, like I do, this picture will really crack you up! :) Wishing you a wonderful Belly Laughing Day!! Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
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"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away." -- Barbara De Angelis We all know that the better you look after yourself the more energy you have to share with others, so how do we balance all of the roles and responsibilities? Here are brief tips on how to create work/life balance: 1. Be in the moment: Avoid thinking of what you have to do or need to do by giving 100% of your attention to the moment. Create to-do lists and clear your mind through deep breathing so that you can focus in the moment. 2. Clarify Expectations: Ask your family what they need from you – you may be surprised and be placing unrealistic and even untrue demands on yourself. Ask for objective feedback from your manager or review your job description to clarify that you are working on task and within or exceeding the expectations at work. 3. Create Intentions: Focus your behaviour be clarifying what it is that you are trying to create or achieve each day. 4. Get clear on how you spend your time: Write out a list of activities in typical and ideal day and week and then compare. Make a list of things that bring positive energy into your life and a list of things that take energy away from you. Prioritize and develop a new schedule based on the outcome of this comparson. 5. Pencil yourself in with some YOU time. By making yourself a priority will send out the message to yourself and others that your time is important. And don't be too hard on yourself if this takes a while, have fun with it and it will become easier :) 6. Establish Boundaries: Talk with your family about your work and explain what you need. If necessary, talk with your manager and review your job. Consider accessing employee assistance programs or if you could create something to assist in solving the work/life balance issue in your workplace. You are likely not alone.. Other options: consider reducing your workload by researching whether job sharing, flex time or part time work is available or soliciting help from friends, family or hire help for home issues. "Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perfomr better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance." -- Brian Tracy Best wishes to you today! Kelly McIntyre M.Sc. http://www.transitioncounselling.com/
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 "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." --Peace Pilgrim Wow! I don't know about you but every time I read something in a magazine or paper or tune into the news, the message I keep hearing is that I need to eat better, take a course, exercise more, be happy... While I absolutely agree and am completely passionate about people developing their potential and aligning with their ideal lives, I think there is a step that has to happen before the change process can really stick. In order for change to be meaningful and truly transforming you need to get quiet and listen to what you really need or want. Surrendering to the circumstances in your life, accepting, getting honest and really embracing your life exactly as it is, is where I think the change process really begins and continues. You may only have brief moments of insight but there is something so peaceful about embracing exactly where you are in this moment. While you keep an eye on what your goals are, making choices aligned with how you want to express yourself ideally in the world, instead of fighting with yourself about what isn't, ask yourself what is? * What is going well in your life? * What do you love? * Who do you love? * What is going on in your life that brings you joy? I have considered these questions personally, and in the spirit of aligning with your ideal life and that which brings happiness and joy (and love of hot weather!), I have amended the length of the Follow Your Heart Goals group from 6 weeks to 4 and am heading back early to my home in the sunny south. I look forward and am excited about connecting with those of you who are participating in the workshop beginning next week and to those who are still on the fence, space is still available - contact me soon for more information. Wishing you a wonderful and peaceful day today! I hope that you enjoy the quotes: "There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy." --Ralph H. Blum "Peace is its own reward." -- Mahatma Gandhi With love, Kelly
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Hi All! First off ~ Happy New Year! The holidays are over; the tree and decorations have been packed away leaving a strange empty feeling in the house. All of the cookies, chocolates, dips, cheeses, breads have all been eaten. I don't know about you but I am ready to get back to my routine! Anyone identify? A group is exactly what we need sometimes to stay motivated and challenge us to make some changes. Does your life really reflect your values and beliefs or your personality? What can we do to align with our ideal life? These are big questions but necessary ones in letting go and moving on. I am excited about how many people have signed up for this group and I look forward to working with each of you in creating more of what you want in your life! In order to complete your registration, please visit http://www.transitioncounselling.com/group.html for further information and then email me the group you are planning to attend. I will then email you your own copy for free of the eworkbook called Helping You Follow Your Heart - 7 Steps to Align with your Ideal Life. The Crane's Bill in Leamington – Mondays – Jan.12 – Feb. 2 from 7:00 – 8:30pm ESTUnit 9 beside the Downtown Yoga Studio in Windsor – Tuesdays – Jan. 13 – Feb. 3 from 7:00 – 8:30pm ESTSkype - Online – Tuesdays – Jan. 13 – Feb. 3 from 12:00 noon – 1:30pm EST Please note, that if you are interested in participating in an online group but are not available on Tuesday lunchtime, if enough people register I may offer another online group on Thursday evenings, just let me know. Enjoy! Kelly :)
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 "Celebrate what you want to see more of." -- Thomas J. Peters I like to plan! I like to imagine and dream and devise little strategies on how to create what I want in my life. I like having goals and planning keeps me focused, having fun and staying motivated. An important part of achieving your goals, a part we often skim over or completely neglect, is recognizing when we have received what we wanted! This is a time to celebrate!! A few months ago, I wrote in my journal that I wanted to be on a radio show to share my story with the intention to inspire people to create more of what they want in their lives. Just last week, I was interviewed by a fitness professional in Georgia for her live radio show. I was so nervous! I had been preparing for this interview for over a month and that morning my internet connection dropped and my two back up plans fell through. Sparing you all the dramatic details :) it eventually worked out and I sat down in a booked conference room at a posh hotel with an hour to spare. Live, I shared my story and strategies for dealing with stress (ironically) and how to align with your ideal life. The outcome: it actually went really well!! I was so relieved and completely pumped! I sat there in that cold air conditioned conference room at the head of the enormous table beaming with joy! It was a very good moment. When we think about goals, we usually think about the future. But what about the goals that you have already accomplished? Think about your life now, how many of your dreams have come true? Think about all of the obstacles that you have had to overcome to get where you are today! Recognize that you have received what you wanted and take the time to celebrate! Read more about life as a learning process and living with intention! Wishing you joy today! With love, Kelly ACTIVITY: Practice filling yourself up with joy! Keep your good news to yourself for one day! And if that seems like an eternity, just try it for one hour and gradually hold it in for longer. Instead of calling your best friend after getting the news about the job, or the announcement - hold it in! Dance, celebrate - express yourself, alone! This is a fantastic exercise for getting to know how your body feels when it feels good. Feel the excitement inside, you are making a conscious decision to celebrate it all on your own! You did it! Then, when you are ready, share it and celebrate more! Excerpt from the new "Helping You Follow Your Heart - 7 Steps to Align with your Ideal Life" workbook. Get ready for 2009 and sign up for now for the: "Follow Your Heart!" 6-week program offered online and in the Leamington and Windsor area beginning January 2009! I have so much to share I am bubbling! Step 1: Recognize what isn't working. This first step can be difficult since we tend to get very comfortable and attached to our routines and tend to ignore or justify things that seem too big to face! Step 2: Create and clarifying pictures of what we want! As a group, we will work on fun activities to create vivid pictures of what we really want our lives to look like. Caution: We all know the phrase, be careful what you wish for and that getting what we want isn't always what we expect or are ready for so we will be addressing: self defeating habits, how to accept acceptance, creating boundaries and self-care develop self-trust and awareness, and instant stress management techniques! Bring a friend! Give the perfect holiday gift! Sign up before Dec. 20 and save on the early bird price of only $199! Contact me today to reserve your spot!! Want to know more about Kelly's approach? She has been using it for over 12 years!
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"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. '' Author Unknown *Lighten Up! * :) I have these words written on a piece of paper placed directly in front of me taped to the bottom of my vision board. The words kind of scream at me, in a paradoxical way, hanging there with big stars on either side of the text followed by a smiley face. On this piece of paper, I also wrote my intention: "To work from a space that is playful, light and focused in creating peace and practicing compassion toward myself and others". Having this message in front of me works! Most of the time... :) While I love my work and the direction my life has taken over this last year, I have to admit there were some challenges along the way that many people can identify with or at least imagine: living abroad and not speaking the language, starting your own business, getting divorced... However, through these challenges I have tried to share with you through my writing the lessons and goodness and beauty and humanity that I have witnessed and been blessed by from taking this journey. In less than one week, I will be returning to Canada for two and a half months for Christmas and to promote and run the Follow Your Heart Goals workshops in Windsor and Leamington and another one online. I am also going to visit local elementary schools to coordinate a Pen Pal letter program between these children and my Dominican students! I am more than excited about taking this new journey! But a part of me is sad about leaving my home and family here and my kids at school, even if it is only temporary! I talked with a dear friend about my thoughts and feelings and she shared with me a piece of wisdom that deeply resonated with me and I wanted to pass it along. "Just know that whatever lies in front of you is within your capacity to cope." Life is a learning process, a series of lessons to learn from people and experiences that constantly enter and exit our lives. Change is going to happen regardless; and even if we try, we can't hold on to the moment, we have to let go. So while letting go, we might as well try to embrace the change and all of the goodness that comes with new experiences! Wishing you peace, compassion and lightness today! With love, Kelly
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Check in with yourself  Sit quietly for a moment. Hear your breath. Is it fast and shallow? Consciously slow it down, take it to a deeper place. Now, how are you feeling? How are you approaching the day today? From a place of fear or gratitude? How can you be more open to what is going on right now in your world? We have a choice. Ultimately it comes down to whether we choose drama or peace. What are you choosing today?
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Recognize when you get what you ask for.. celebrate and be grateful!  A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to go on a girls weekend with my close friends to a resort for a couple of days. It was a relaxing and luxurious experience, a far cry from how we all live in the city of Santo Domingo, DR. We bonded as we indulged in the amenities, from drinks to massages. In those three days, we relinquished our sensible levelheaded methods of living in a different country and engaged in meaningful life discussions usually followed by lively and hysterical fits of laughter! I was floating in the clear blue water, chatting easily with my friend, when I had an epiphany! While looking at the clouds slide across the sky - everything seemed to align. I realized that everything that I had asked for and visualized on having one year ealier, is now my reality! I asked for one full year off of work to write and develop my own business, to live in the sun, go dancing and have interesting people and experiences fill my life. In that moment, in the water, giggles bubbled up and I was full of gratitude because everything I had asked for and believed in, I received! It is really true, you can create a life you love!
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Pay Attention to your life!! What does this exactly mean - to pay attention? My teachers used to say it to me all of the time, "Kelly, pay attention, this is important!" I would smarten up, get focused and listen but then my mind would quickly wander off until I was reprimanded again, and then again... So, what happens when you don�t pay attention? Well, you miss out on what is actually happening in your life, which is to say the least, kind of important. But yet our minds wander.. As adults we don�t have teachers always there reminding us to pay attention, so we have to find ways to do it ourselves. One way that I remind myself to pay attention in my life is to say the word "Namaste", which means the soul in me sees the soul in you. I try to say it in my head with every person I see or interact with throughout the day. Try this: the next time you are at the grocery store, completely frustrated because you are late and waiting in this crazy long line, when you finally reach the cashier, say "Namaste" or something similar in your mind to remind you to pay attention then look into the person�s eyes. You will likely smile naturally (not strangely). Take a moment and really feel how good it is to see someone else, then try it with your friend, your partner, your colleague, your mother. The side effect is that they will also begin to see you. So be your own teacher, use "Namaste" or a find another phrase that works for you and use it to remind yourself to "Pay attention, smarten up, this life is important!" http://yogajournal.com/basics/822 With love, Kelly www.transitioncounselling.com
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Please step slowly away from your work Can you identify? You are working hard; it is nearly the end of the day and you are rushing to finish a project, meet a deadline or just want to clear the "stuff" off your desk for the day. Your stomach is turning and your jaw is tight. Ultimately, you end up working an extra hour or even two and leave the office feeling drained and uptight. When you get home, you collapse in front of the tv for the night only to wake up the next day and repeat the process again. OR You are in between jobs and are conducting a job search and hour after hour you sit in front of your computer scanning jobboards and company profiles trying to generate a job lead. You are frustrated and feeling hopeless then you realize that you haven't eaten lunch and now it is 3 o'clock and you even showered yet! OR You are at home with your young children. You wake up early, throw on your comfy clothes and dive into the busy routine of maintaining the house, cooking, cleaning, driving, listening, solving, responding... you move quickly from one task to another. You are efficient with a capital E! All of a sudden it is 10pm and you are in bed drifting in and out of sleep with the tv on. If you can identify and want change, what can you do? We all know the many positive ways to create balance in life and they will help - exercise, healthy diet, meditation, positive relationships, hobbies, volunteering... yet still we continue to search for something else. There are many things we say to ourselves directly or that subconsciously drive our behaviour during the day like: - If I don't do it, who will?
- I need to get it done now, it will only take five minutes...
- I want to do it the right way the first time.
- I have to work hard or it won't get finished or done properly.
If we believe that we "have to", "need to" or "want to"... at some level, we believe we have to "make things happen", that we have to "control" something that is going on in our lives rather than letting it unfold naturally. Learning to "LET GO" can be a complex and challenging process but the first step in any transition process is gaining awareness. So step away from your work, your routine, listen and be aware of your thoughts and try to let go a little at a time. Things will get done, you will work again, the house/business will not fall apart and you will be much more relaxed and able to enjoy your life! For specific techniques to letting go to apply in your personal situation contact me anytime! Enjoy your day! Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
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Take a break - you will be better for it!   Well, I knew it was time to take a break when I noticed my first grey hair. And after I counted one, I noticed a second and eventually counted 6! My parents were late to grey so I easily that stress was likely a factor in the mini-crisis that I had in front of the mirror last week :) Immediately, I booked a mini retreat for four days to Samana on the north east coast of Dominican Republic (my new home). The resort was beyond gorgeous! These are some real pics.. With upcoming retreats and other special projects that I am working on, I decided to go away and practice what I preach (but still with the idea that I would check email and work a little if necessary.) So, as I am standing in reception being told that the internet has and will be out of service indefinitely, I felt a little let's say, uneasy. For the first day, I would wander to the reception and casually ask if service had been restored and each time I received the same answer, "No, sorry Senorita". Then it became obvious that everything was aligned for me to have 4 days to rebuild, rejuvenate, sleep soundly and breathe in the beautiful scenery. So I did! I am back and feel fantastic! I am full of ideas and energy to share with my clients and readers. It was a good reminder to not let the pressure build and to practice self-care every day. And do you know what? The world didn't fall apart! :) Contact me anytime to share your stories and take advantage of a complimentary 30 minute coaching session! Best to you today! Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
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Let your light shine!  "There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle" --Robert Alden I attend a Catholic church most Sundays. I am not Catholic and I often don't understand all that is going on because the mass is in Spanish. Yet, I still go and sit quietly in this grand, intricately designed church built in the 1500s and feel a strong sense of history, community and peace. There is something so powerful of participating in formal rituals collectively: sitting united in silence, prayer or song. One of my favourite times all week is during mass when we greet all those around us and say "Peace be with you". Without fail, tears spring to my eyes and I always return to my seat with intense feelings of connection, peace and lightness. The same thing happens emotionally to me at the end of a yoga class. The teacher greets each student looking at them in the eye and says "Namaste", which loosely means the soul in me sees the soul in you. Again, I feel an immediate shift towards connection, peace and lightness. It also happens to me during roars of applause when I look around the room and see the glow in people's eyes. I practically float out of the room afterwards. Can you identify with my experiences? Do you have moments of joy, bliss and intense connection with others? Do you have times when you feel peace and lightness? When and what are you doing? Two days ago, I stood in a crowd of people, captivated by the talent of a street artist. We watched as he painted this beautiful landscape easily right there on the dirty busy street. His clothes were old, his shoes were tattered but his face was radiant and his eyes were clear. He then began chatting up the crowd, sharing stories that were entertaining and then concluded randomly that, "You cannot hide light!" So with that being said, consider now whether there is there something stirring inside of you that is ready to be revealed or explored. Is there lightness inside of you that is yearning to be expressed in your life - through your work, your relationships, your body? Imagine if we all let go and let our light shine. Wow, that would be amazing! Follow Your Heart! With love, Kelly kelly@transitioncounselling.com http://www.transitioncounselling.com/
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Visualize! It really works! "What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve." -- Napolean Hill Let me share the story... A few months ago here in the Dominican Republic, one of my good American friends asked me to meet her for a working lunch. We weren't there to chat about the normal stuff: shopping, culture, politics, travel, relationships :) etc.. she wanted me to help her make a life decision. She was making okay money and was happy. The problem was that she was just offered a seat in a Masters program at an Ivy league school - what should she do? School didn't feel like the right direction but she was getting pressure to go and people were saying that she would be crazy to turn down such an opportunity! Things were ok in her Dominican life but admittedly not perfect, change was looming. We talked for about two hours. I asked her to describe to me specific details using her senses about her picture of the ideal work environment and to transport us there together. What is she wearing? What kind of people is she working with? What does the office look like? What does it sound like? What kind of things would she like to do on the weekend? (indicating a city or a town?) Even, what kind of technology she would she be using? We were even able to narrow down the skills that energized her and from there a few career areas appeared. Soon enough she transported us to this fantastic "ideal" picture - as she spoke, her voice changed. She was sassy, funny, confident! She could feel this picture! She was radiant! A plan was developing! We sat there in that booth buzzing with energy!! It was awesome!! A couple of months went by without any big changes and just a few weeks ago she left the DR after accepting a new job. We connected this morning by email and this is what she said... "Sometimes I leave the office building, which is in midtown Manhattan, and I just look up at all the skyscrapers and look around at all the super fasionable businesspeople and I have to pinch myself because I can't believe that this is actually happening. I was thinking just the other day as I was walking down the street... this is exactly the vision that I described to Kelly just a few months ago when we were sitting at the restaurant! That's it. I'm here!" Congratulations and thank you Mandy for letting me share your story! Follow Your Heart! Kelly
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"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." --John Lubbock Yes, it is true, I lost it! It doesn't happen very often but it happened on Saturday evening - BIG TIME! I was all prepared and set to call into the radio show for Optimum Health Club using Skype, then suddenly my internet connection dropped! I no longer had access to Skype or the phone number to the radio show should I decide to make the extremely expensive long distance call. I rebooted my computer, began frantically plugging and unplugging cables, clicking buttons here and there hoping that somehow I clicked something incorrectly. Then I prayed, cursed and cried! With about 20 minutes before the call, I sat there staring hatefully at my computer, overcome and paralyzed with anger and defeat. I thought about my options and knew I could use the lawyer's office downstairs and it would likely turn out fine. Even if I didn't make the call, the world would not end. My connection has been dropped before, and this is usually how I handled it. This time though I was angry because I had to deal with this problem yet again. It felt like I was being tested! While most of the county has been without power and running water for the last month, I sat there incapacitated about my lost internet connection! But really when was the last time you were without an internet connection? Yes I know, likely never. In Canada and the United States we rarely face inconveniences such as the loss of energy or running water or heaven forbid lost internet connections! :) I know of families here in the city, who are currently without power and running water now for the last three to four days! Can you imagine your family trying to get ready for school, do their homework, clean dishes or cook dinner without energy or running water? After I finished my radio debut from the office downstairs, I thought about those families and what they would say about my situation, then I broke out in laughter at my ridiculous response. My anger melted as I reflected on the experience and gained perspective. What felt so important and intense in that moment passed. I was fine. My world was fine. "When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." --Albert Einstein Wishing you peace and perspective today, Kelly
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weather is really getting to me! 
